谁帮我改改这段英语作文啊 On one hand,the thought that people should take action now rather than later is advocated by a lot of young people.For example,there are more and more young people who have high educational background to want to s

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谁帮我改改这段英语作文啊
On one hand,the thought that people should take action now rather than later is advocated by a lot of young people.For example,there are more and more young people who have high educational background to want to seek a relatively well-paid job.Therefore,if you want to get the opportunity,you have to take an action in a short time such as quickly making decision,rapidly preparing a strategy for interview and so on.In this way,you could enjoy a competitive edge in this faster-rhythm-society.
这段想表达这个思想：people should take action now rather than later

On one hand,a lot of young people advocate the idea of taking prompt actions rather than later.For example,more and more young people with higher education are seeking relatively well-paid jobs.Therefore,prompt decision-making is very important when the opportunities are presented.Furthemrore,individuals who wish to take advantage of those opportunities should also quickly prepare for their interviews.Doing so can allow these individuals to have a competitive edge against other candidates in today's piety.
注：人称代词要一致,不要再段落里变来变去,例如不要从他们变成你们.最好要一致的.

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1.to want改成wanting,there are many people wanting;
2.take an action改成take actions更好，因为后面你举了两个例子；
3.make a decision或者make decisions
4.faster-rhythm society. 就好了，society不要和前面的词用连字符号连接。
至于其他的地方，我个人觉得没有太大问题了。
你只讲了一个方面对吗？on one hand引导的这个方面--早行动的原因是年轻人支持。
然后给了一个例子，就是在找工作时如果要占先机，就要快速行动。你还想要怎么改呢？
【公益慈善翻译团】真诚为你解答！

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The thought of people should take action now rather than later is advocated by a lot of young people. For example, there are more and more young people who have high educational background want to seek a relatively well-paid job. Therefore, if you want to get the opportunity, you have to take an action in a short time such as making a decision quickly, and rapidly prepare a strategy for interview and so on. In this way, you could have a competitive edge over the others in this faster-pace-society.

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