请帮我批改一下英语作文：我的幸福生活MyHappiness in LifeWhatis happiness?Happiness is when you get sick when someone gives you a cup ofwater and drugs.Onetime,I was sick in bed.He came home from work and saw me like this,andasked:"Ar

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请帮我批改一下英语作文：我的幸福生活
MyHappiness in Life
Whatis happiness?Happiness is when you get sick when someone gives you a cup ofwater and drugs.
Onetime,I was sick in bed.He came home from work and saw me like this,andasked:"Are you sick?" I said:"cold have a fever." Helistened to me,he poured a glass of water,took a drugs,let me medication,atthat time,I am very happy!
Inretrospect,happiness is so simple when you are sick when someone gives you acup of water and drugs,this is my happiness in life.

你这作文更像是我的朋友,不是我的幸福生活.
标点用的不好;
叙事太过平淡
没有大的语法错误,时态用的不错.

把 Happiness is when you get sick when someone gives you a cup ofwater and drugs.和后面重复
可以在 Whatis happiness?设问句后加一个答语 如

= =!!! 哎玛，真是惨不忍睹的英语作文呀。。是中学作文还是小学作文呀？大部分的句子都错了，而且单词都用错了，语法错误也很多。。。真的要我批吗？？？

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